I successfully resolved an issue this week that has been hanging over my head since April.
I had an issue with another company – specifically one individual at another company – and we’d both dug in our heels.
I had made an offer to resolve the issue via email, and the other person said they would only talk about it over the phone.
Since our one (and only) phone interaction hadn’t gone very well, I stated that I would only communicate via email. He said he would only communicate via phone.
Full stop!
As time went by, the worse the problem got. In fact, we were heading toward a cliff with a definite drop off.
I was blaming him. He was blaming me. And, in the end, the issue creating the impasse was NOT the original problem, but who was going to make the other person do what they wanted as far as communication (email vs phone).
So I was standing in the shower and I was thinking about what a jerk the other guy was being. Then, out of nowhere, I heard this little voice in my head say, “Just call him!”
Instantly, my ego started yelling, “NO! He needs to email us… he needs to do it our way!”
And then I realized it… my ego was getting in the way of results. My pride was holding me back from getting rid of the problem. My need to be right was interfering with my ability to get rid of something that was really bugging me.
So then I said, “Yep, I’ll call him and just get it resolved.”
At which point my ego said, “Well, I guess we can be the bigger man on this.” And I immediately started feeling smug and superior over this guy.
Then I realized my ego was getting in the way once again! My immediate reaction was to “feel superior” to the other guy in order to justify the fact that I wasn’t *making* him email me (instead of me calling him).
My ego. My pride. My need to be right was getting in the way of resolving something important that was eating up way too much time and mental energy.
So then I said, “I’m going to call him, not because I’m the bigger man… not because I’m giving in… and not because I’m weak. I’m calling him because it’s important to get this resolved and my ego needs to take a back seat on this. He can think whatever he wants about me, but getting this resolved will allow me to get results and just move on – which is the most important thing.”
At which point my ego shut the hell up and we got it resolved! 🙂
So if there’s something you can’t get resolved. If there’s an issue that is “sticking” for you, and your ego keeps getting in the way, ask yourself “Is this about me being “right” or not “losing face” and is that what’s keeping me from getting results?”
If the answer is yes, then your ego is in the way. And if that’s the only reason (in other words, there’s no question of right or wrong, good or bad, integrity, or anything like that), then think long and hard about getting your ego out of the way and focusing on getting results and moving forward.
It just might clear up a bunch of roadblocks to your success that you didn’t even realize were blocking your path!
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